Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
J'ai appris beaucoup.
J'ai appris beaucoup = I learned a lot.
I have this list of things in my journal that I learned while in Togo that I'm scared I am going to forget with time in America. I thought I'd share a couple:
1) Be grateful for the rain - every time it rains & especially when people complain about the rainy weather, I am hoping the universe might let some raindrops fall in Togo so that my host family and friends will have a good enough yam harvest to be able to eat at least one (but hopefully two) meals a day. I also know how unbearably hot it gets when it doesn't rain for months on end, so my hair getting wet or having to wear a jacket/gloves isn't that difficult for me.
2) Enjoy Chicago public transportation - yes, sometimes it is frustrating when the train stops unexpectedly or there is nowhere to sit... but at least it is a fixed price (no need to barter or have to pay extra for being white), a goat will definitely not be sitting on my lap, I will not get any marriage proposals from strangers and it will never again take me over two hours to get only 40 kilometers.
In other news, I saw snow this week for the first time I've seen snow since 2009.
Snow and rollercoasters were probably the top two most difficult things to explain (in French) to my Togolese friends who had never seen/heard of either.
#deardiary #ramble #grateful #culture #amurika
^ Togolese
photographers are the best for several reasons: they print their photos
on these awesome flowery designs, they capture pictures when nobody
knows they're there, and they give them as thank you gifts. #oxfordcomma * This is me "dancing" at the celebration of the very generous donation
of Rotary Club (Chicago, Fort Wayne + Lomé Lumières) of almost 1,000
school textbooks for three schools in my area.
For those of you I am not friends with on Facebook here are public photos of my second year in Togo: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2120025437311.2111382.1146030016&type=1&l=854ec7911b
Happy holidays & bonne année! (happy new year!)
I have this list of things in my journal that I learned while in Togo that I'm scared I am going to forget with time in America. I thought I'd share a couple:
1) Be grateful for the rain - every time it rains & especially when people complain about the rainy weather, I am hoping the universe might let some raindrops fall in Togo so that my host family and friends will have a good enough yam harvest to be able to eat at least one (but hopefully two) meals a day. I also know how unbearably hot it gets when it doesn't rain for months on end, so my hair getting wet or having to wear a jacket/gloves isn't that difficult for me.
2) Enjoy Chicago public transportation - yes, sometimes it is frustrating when the train stops unexpectedly or there is nowhere to sit... but at least it is a fixed price (no need to barter or have to pay extra for being white), a goat will definitely not be sitting on my lap, I will not get any marriage proposals from strangers and it will never again take me over two hours to get only 40 kilometers.
In other news, I saw snow this week for the first time I've seen snow since 2009.
Snow and rollercoasters were probably the top two most difficult things to explain (in French) to my Togolese friends who had never seen/heard of either.
#deardiary #ramble #grateful #culture #amurika
For those of you I am not friends with on Facebook here are public photos of my second year in Togo: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2120025437311.2111382.1146030016&type=1&l=854ec7911b
Happy holidays & bonne année! (happy new year!)
Monday, November 19, 2012
Books
I read some good books, I read some embarrassing
books, I read whatever I could get my hands on while I was in Togo. I read some books more times that I can
remember. I spent more money on flashlight batteries and candles than on food. Here’s a list from my journal
of the books I wrote down that I read; I *ed some of my favorites:
*1) Brave
New World – Aldous Huxley
2) The
House on Mango Street – Sandra Cisneros
3) Yo!
– Julia Alvarez
4) Hypocrite
in a Pouffy White Dress: Tales of Growing up Groovy and Clueless – Susan Jane
Gilman
5) I
Am Not Myself These Days – Josh Kilmer-Purcell
6) Whose
Panties Are These? – Jennifer L. Leo
7)
This is Not a Book – Michael Picard
8) Slaughterhouse
Five – Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
9) Scattered
Poems – Jack Kerouac
*10) Things
Fall Apart – Chinua Achebe
11) Yesterday
I Cried – Iyanla Vanzant
12) A
Life Inspired: Tales of Peace Corps Service (50 years)
13) Invisible
Life – E. Lynn Harris
14) For
One More Day – Mitch Albom
15) Fahrenheit
451 – Ray Bradbury
16) Buddha’s
Little Instruction Book – Jack Kornfield
*17) A
Useful Woman – Gioia Diliberto
18) Three
Cups of Tea – Greg Mortenson
19) Extraordinary
Groups: An Examination of Unconventional Lifestyles (8th Ed) –
Schaefer & Zellner
20) First
Comes Love, Then Comes Malaria: How a Peace Corps Poster Boy Won My Heart and a
Third World Adventure Changed my Life – Eve Brown-Waite
21) The
Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
22) Away
From Home: Letters to My Family – Lillian Carter
*23) Flowers
for Algernon – Daniel Keyes
24) Prozac
Nation – Elizabeth Wurtzel
25) Pages
for You – Sylvia Brownrigg
26) Train
Go Sorry: Inside a Dead World – Leah Hager-Cohen
27) Rough
Translations – Molly Giles
28) A
Sophisticated Savage – Carla Siedl
29) The
Motorcycle Diaries: Notes on a Latin American Journey – Che Ernesto Guevara
30) Ordinary
Life – Elizabeth Berg
31) The
Village of Waiting – George Packer (read this if you want to learn more
about my experience)
32) Choke
– Chuck Palahniuk
33) Memories
of my Melancholy Whores – Gabriel García
Márquez
34) The
Blind Side: Evolution of a Game – Michael Lewis
*35) White
Teeth – Zadie Smith
36) Plainsong
– Kent Haruf
37) Bee
Season – Myla Goldberg
38) Good in Bed – Jennifer Weiner
39) Illegible
40) The
Glass Castle – Jeanette Walls
41) Water
for Elephants – Sara Gruen
42) For
Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow is Enuf –
Ntozake Shange
43) Me
Talk Pretty One Day – David Sedaris
*44) Bachelor
Girl: 100 Years of Breaking the Rules- A Social History of Living Single –
Betsy Israel
45) Talk
to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life (or Six Good Reasons to
Stay Home and Bolt the Door) – Lynne Truss
46) Death
of a Salesman – Arthur Miller
*47) The
Lost Kingdoms of Africa: Through Muslim Africa by Truck, Bus, Boat and Camel –
Jeffrey Tayler
48) Keeping
You a Secret – Julie Anne Peters
49) The
Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
50) Then
We Came to the End – Joshua Ferris
51) The
Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
52) The
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – Stieg Larsson (What the F is the big deal
about these books?)
53) People I Wanted to Be – Gina Ochsner
54) Anthem
– Ayn Rand
55) Bridget
Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
56) Running
with Scissor – Augusten Burroughs
57) A
Life Inspired: Tales of Peace Corps Service (45 years)
*58) Monique
and the Mango Rains: Two Years with a Midwife in Mali – Kris Holloway
59) Dear
Exile: The True Story of Two Friends Separated (for a year) by an Ocean –
Hilary Liftin & Kate Montgomery
60) The
Adderall Diaries: A Memoir – Stephen Elliott (thanks for mailing me this,
Moe!)
61) Dry
– Augusten Burroughs
62) This
I Believe: The Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women – NPR
63) Cat’s
Cradle – Kurt Vonnegut
64) Holidays
on Ice – David Sedaris
65) Ceremony
– Leslie Marmon Silko (thanks again, Moe!)
66) Oh
the Glory of It All – Sean Wilsey (thanks, Moe!)
67) Dress
Your Family in Corduroy and Denim – David Sedaris
68) Travel
as a Political Act – Rick Steves (lol)
69) Whiteman
– Tony D’Souza
70) Vanishing
Acts – Jodi Picoult
71) About
Yvonne – Donna Masini
72) Laughing
Without an Accent – Firoozeh Dumas
73) The
Devil and Miss Prym – Paulo Coelho
74) The
Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
*75) Travels
with Charley in Search of America – John Steinbeck (I hesitantly gave this
a star… I’d read it again)
76) All
We ever Wanted Was Everything – Janelle Brown
77) Obedience
– Will Lavender
78) The
Namesake – Jhumpha Lahiri
79) Polio:
An American Story – David M. Oshinsky
80) The Good Society: The Humane Agenda – John
Kenneth Galbraith
81) I
Know This Much Is True – Wally Lamb
I’m missing a journal list… + a dozen or
so books in French that I had a difficulty comprehending so they don’t count.
Emily "Naka" Jones alphabetizing the Atakpamé library
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Epilogue
Warning: I wrote this in Notepad and didn't edit it for content or spelling. (We know my grammar is perfect, so no worries there) Please comment or ask questions if you have anything at all to say/ask!
-
I've been back in the states for about six weeks now. I left Togo on September 14 and met up with Moe in Brussels. We visited six countries (Belgium, France, Switzerland, Spain, Czech Republic, Netherlands) but the only place we went in France was Paris and we were only in Barcelona for a night. My favorite places were Gent, Belgium and everywhere we went in Switzerland. I'll spare you the details because I don't want to be that person that brags about their European adventure via the internet, but please feel free to ask questions. Moe posted a whole album on FB that has all the pictures (I didn't bring my camera). It was great to reconnect with her for a few weeks and it was great to dip my foot in the waters of first world amenities before jumping into the water.
That being said, it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would. A lot of previous volunteers said that once you get back to America, you just get right back into it without a problem; it's like you never left. I do feel like that sometimes but there is always this little itch inside of me telling me that something doesn't feel right.
The hardest part is not seeing my Togolese friends and family every day. And I haven't called them because of the time difference/it's just too hard for me right now. I printed and mailed them a couple hundred pictures, but that'll have to do for now. We still "beep" each other though, like we did when I lived there.
("Beeping" is when you call someone's phone and let it ring once and hang up. People usually do this because they don't want to spend their phone credit on the call/hope you'll call them back, but most of my friends and I had an understanding that we'll do it to say hello without expecting a call back. - They are kinda like pay-as-you-go phones.)
Speaking of phones... these damn smart phones, you guys. Ok, the truth? I do want one. But I am so scared of how sucked into I'm gonna get because I'm already addicted to the internet as it is. And I like my simple phone that does nothing but text/make phone calls. But the map thing is so cool and I can't call Cassie every time I'm drunk and lost in Lincoln Park at 11pm on a Wednesday night. It makes me really sad though when everyone has their phones in their hand in social settings.
Social settings! Ok, so I've never been one to "fake it" when I'm not interested in people. I am blunt and straight-to-the-point. Or I was. I'm trying to be "nicer" or whatever. But it's hard when you're just a novelty in some situations. "This is Jes, she just got back from AFRICA!" is about the worst introduction anyone can give for me. I don't want to be known as that girl and I DIDN'T SEE THE WHOLE CONTINENT. JUST ONE TINY, ITTYBITTY COUNTRY. AFRICA IS NOT A COUNTRY. But that being said, I usually have nothing to contribute to conversations other than "this one time in Togo..." #firstworldproblems
First world problems... OMG people complain about stuff that would take me an hour to explain to a Togolese person. The CTA was running late? HOLY CRAP, YOUR TRANSPORTATION THAT COSTS THE SAME PRICE EVERY DAY, HAS NO GOATS THAT WILL SIT ON YOUR LAP/OR ANOTHER PERSON ON YOUR LAP FOR THAT MATTER, ETC. was 5 or 10 minutes late? Try waiting hours on end just to get somewhere that would take 30 minutes in America. You had to wait in line to sign-up for a 5k or to pay for something to you don't need? BE THANKFUL FOR LINES. TRY WAITING IN... A CROWD... FOR HOURS... TO MAIL A LETTER TO YOUR FRIENDS WHO WILL NEVER MAIL YOU ANYTHING THE WHOLE TWO YEARS YOU'RE GONE. Ok, I'll stop complaining- this isn't directed at anyone specifically because it's at least five different people. And I was like that too and will probably be like that before I know it... it's just hard to hear.
Which brings me to the grocery store. I CAN'T DO IT. I go in for like five minutes and then I can't breathe. My friend needed to get applesauce for her friend from out of town to use to take her medicine... WHAT? Sometimes I didn't even have water to take my meds but ok, fine. Applesauce, can't be too hard. There was like eleven effing choices. Right next to the paper towel aisle with even more choices. And then the next time I went, my friend spent more money on dog treats than my host family would spend in a month to feed their whole family. Comparing money/the exchange rate is just bad for everyone, but I can just imagine my host dad walking into a Jewel and being like "what do you do with THIS?" about pretty much 80% of the stuff.
In the same way it's hard for me to find the words to explain my Peace Corps-Togo experience to you guys, it was hard to explain American life to them. And sometimes it makes me not want to try. But sometimes it makes me feel really great. The best question I've been asked lately: "What was an average day like for you?" I think because of this blog, it sounds like I did A LOT... and I guess I did in the big picture. But in reality, I spent WEEKS just sitting at my house, reading books, dancing with my host siblings and hoping that the sauce that came with my daily meal would be edible. And I loved it.
I miss my house, my cat, my family, my friends, my life. I wrote letters to some friends with the pictures I sent and I wrote "mon esprit va toujours rester avec vous au Togo" which was one of the few times I've cried over Togo. (Translation: My spirit will always rest with you in Togo) I feel like I left a piece of me there and that I'll never be able to reunite with it/be that person again. I strangely miss speaking French. Franglais (Francais + Anglais = Franglais) comes out every so often, especially "ah bon"- Google it.
Coming home during elections was super bad timing. I just spent two years fighting for women's rights and equality and avoiding the subject of gay rights in fear of my safety ... to "the land of the free and home of the brave"? We were all there for this (except for those of you still in Togo...) so I'll spare rambling about my political thoughts. But the contradiction of "I AM SO FUCKING PROUD TO BE AMERICAN" mixed with "This sucks so bad" has caused me so much anxiety. On the fourth of July, I was so happy to celebrate at the American embassy in the capital (even though I was going through my second round of malaria) because I had never been so proud to be American. Its so cliché, but we take a lot for granted. Especially our freedom of speech. But lots of other things too.
Healthcare. Political debate aside, we have access to things that people couldn't dream of. I've been to 10+ doctor appointments since I've been home and I got really depressed at almost all of them to the point where the doctors asked me what's wrong. I FEEL SO GUILTY. Here I am getting moles removed, a preventative measure against cancer. Or an ingrown toenail. Or a check-up. I wasn't sick. I watched so many people I knew grow weak, malnourished and some of them die because they couldn't pay the couple thousands francs for their medicine (about $4). This is where that little itch of "something's not right" comes into play and there is nothing I can do about it. I try to focus on the feeling of being grateful.
When I was there, I got into disagreements and arguments. Especially with my host dad. But we always talked it through. Through all the barriers (language, age, religion, race, etc.), we'd come to an understanding and hug and then eat together. It wasn't easy and sometimes I almost gave up, but my relationship with him is something that I will treasure forever. He is almost 70 years old and he has the youngest spirit of anyone I've ever met.
Papa would constantly beg me, "when you go back to America, please don't tell your parents how bad it is here!" and I'd reassure him that I wouldn't... every family fights, right? He knows that. This idea that "chez les blancs" (where the white people are) is so much better than there is something instilled in a lot of Togolese. Just explaining that America is way diverse is something that a lot of people couldn't grasp... that and that America and Europe isn't the same place. "'Rich people problems' aren't fun", I'd explain to him. "The smiles I see here in Kpategan [my village] are more genuine than any smile I've ever seen on an American face", I'd reiterate. He'd smile, hesitantly. It was such a double-edged sword because it's supposedly so much better in America, but then some of my habits just weren't acceptable. A woman who doesn't cook? Hell no, Maury! An unmarried woman without children? Yeah, in America people are getting married later and later... some of these things were just better left alone.
Alone. I miss having a lot of time alone. I thought about things I never had the time to think about before. I had feelings that I never experienced before. I lived alone in my own small house. Most people are surprised by this; they thought I was living with a group of other volunteers. No. I was the only (and the first!) volunteer to be placed in my village and the closest American was over an hour ride away. But I was never truly alone; at any moment of any day, I could take a three minute walk to my best friend's house to laugh, cry, cook, eat, or just sit there.
There's no smooth way for me to conclude this, so I'll paraphrase a story from Dick Day, the Peace Corps regional director of Africa:
You [the Peace Corps Volunteer] are the letter "A". You're living in Togo. You adapt to the culture and the life, but you were raised in America. You're American. No matter how hard you try or what you do, you'll never be able to be a "B".
Togolese people are the letter "B". You are an "A" living amongst all "B"s.
When you go back to America, now you're a "C" because you lived amongst "B"s for so long; you're different. You are now a "C" living amongst "A"s.
Fitting in is overrated anyway, right? This goes for anyone who has had a big experience. After visiting 10+ countries, you're the letter Q with a special combination... I think there is comfort to find in the diversity. I find comfort in those who truly care to listen to my experiences even if I'm a "C" and they're not. So I'll finally shut up by saying thank you to those rare few who I've truly connected to since I've been home.
-
I've been back in the states for about six weeks now. I left Togo on September 14 and met up with Moe in Brussels. We visited six countries (Belgium, France, Switzerland, Spain, Czech Republic, Netherlands) but the only place we went in France was Paris and we were only in Barcelona for a night. My favorite places were Gent, Belgium and everywhere we went in Switzerland. I'll spare you the details because I don't want to be that person that brags about their European adventure via the internet, but please feel free to ask questions. Moe posted a whole album on FB that has all the pictures (I didn't bring my camera). It was great to reconnect with her for a few weeks and it was great to dip my foot in the waters of first world amenities before jumping into the water.
That being said, it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would. A lot of previous volunteers said that once you get back to America, you just get right back into it without a problem; it's like you never left. I do feel like that sometimes but there is always this little itch inside of me telling me that something doesn't feel right.
The hardest part is not seeing my Togolese friends and family every day. And I haven't called them because of the time difference/it's just too hard for me right now. I printed and mailed them a couple hundred pictures, but that'll have to do for now. We still "beep" each other though, like we did when I lived there.
("Beeping" is when you call someone's phone and let it ring once and hang up. People usually do this because they don't want to spend their phone credit on the call/hope you'll call them back, but most of my friends and I had an understanding that we'll do it to say hello without expecting a call back. - They are kinda like pay-as-you-go phones.)
Speaking of phones... these damn smart phones, you guys. Ok, the truth? I do want one. But I am so scared of how sucked into I'm gonna get because I'm already addicted to the internet as it is. And I like my simple phone that does nothing but text/make phone calls. But the map thing is so cool and I can't call Cassie every time I'm drunk and lost in Lincoln Park at 11pm on a Wednesday night. It makes me really sad though when everyone has their phones in their hand in social settings.
Social settings! Ok, so I've never been one to "fake it" when I'm not interested in people. I am blunt and straight-to-the-point. Or I was. I'm trying to be "nicer" or whatever. But it's hard when you're just a novelty in some situations. "This is Jes, she just got back from AFRICA!" is about the worst introduction anyone can give for me. I don't want to be known as that girl and I DIDN'T SEE THE WHOLE CONTINENT. JUST ONE TINY, ITTYBITTY COUNTRY. AFRICA IS NOT A COUNTRY. But that being said, I usually have nothing to contribute to conversations other than "this one time in Togo..." #firstworldproblems
First world problems... OMG people complain about stuff that would take me an hour to explain to a Togolese person. The CTA was running late? HOLY CRAP, YOUR TRANSPORTATION THAT COSTS THE SAME PRICE EVERY DAY, HAS NO GOATS THAT WILL SIT ON YOUR LAP/OR ANOTHER PERSON ON YOUR LAP FOR THAT MATTER, ETC. was 5 or 10 minutes late? Try waiting hours on end just to get somewhere that would take 30 minutes in America. You had to wait in line to sign-up for a 5k or to pay for something to you don't need? BE THANKFUL FOR LINES. TRY WAITING IN... A CROWD... FOR HOURS... TO MAIL A LETTER TO YOUR FRIENDS WHO WILL NEVER MAIL YOU ANYTHING THE WHOLE TWO YEARS YOU'RE GONE. Ok, I'll stop complaining- this isn't directed at anyone specifically because it's at least five different people. And I was like that too and will probably be like that before I know it... it's just hard to hear.
Which brings me to the grocery store. I CAN'T DO IT. I go in for like five minutes and then I can't breathe. My friend needed to get applesauce for her friend from out of town to use to take her medicine... WHAT? Sometimes I didn't even have water to take my meds but ok, fine. Applesauce, can't be too hard. There was like eleven effing choices. Right next to the paper towel aisle with even more choices. And then the next time I went, my friend spent more money on dog treats than my host family would spend in a month to feed their whole family. Comparing money/the exchange rate is just bad for everyone, but I can just imagine my host dad walking into a Jewel and being like "what do you do with THIS?" about pretty much 80% of the stuff.
In the same way it's hard for me to find the words to explain my Peace Corps-Togo experience to you guys, it was hard to explain American life to them. And sometimes it makes me not want to try. But sometimes it makes me feel really great. The best question I've been asked lately: "What was an average day like for you?" I think because of this blog, it sounds like I did A LOT... and I guess I did in the big picture. But in reality, I spent WEEKS just sitting at my house, reading books, dancing with my host siblings and hoping that the sauce that came with my daily meal would be edible. And I loved it.
I miss my house, my cat, my family, my friends, my life. I wrote letters to some friends with the pictures I sent and I wrote "mon esprit va toujours rester avec vous au Togo" which was one of the few times I've cried over Togo. (Translation: My spirit will always rest with you in Togo) I feel like I left a piece of me there and that I'll never be able to reunite with it/be that person again. I strangely miss speaking French. Franglais (Francais + Anglais = Franglais) comes out every so often, especially "ah bon"- Google it.
Coming home during elections was super bad timing. I just spent two years fighting for women's rights and equality and avoiding the subject of gay rights in fear of my safety ... to "the land of the free and home of the brave"? We were all there for this (except for those of you still in Togo...) so I'll spare rambling about my political thoughts. But the contradiction of "I AM SO FUCKING PROUD TO BE AMERICAN" mixed with "This sucks so bad" has caused me so much anxiety. On the fourth of July, I was so happy to celebrate at the American embassy in the capital (even though I was going through my second round of malaria) because I had never been so proud to be American. Its so cliché, but we take a lot for granted. Especially our freedom of speech. But lots of other things too.
Healthcare. Political debate aside, we have access to things that people couldn't dream of. I've been to 10+ doctor appointments since I've been home and I got really depressed at almost all of them to the point where the doctors asked me what's wrong. I FEEL SO GUILTY. Here I am getting moles removed, a preventative measure against cancer. Or an ingrown toenail. Or a check-up. I wasn't sick. I watched so many people I knew grow weak, malnourished and some of them die because they couldn't pay the couple thousands francs for their medicine (about $4). This is where that little itch of "something's not right" comes into play and there is nothing I can do about it. I try to focus on the feeling of being grateful.
When I was there, I got into disagreements and arguments. Especially with my host dad. But we always talked it through. Through all the barriers (language, age, religion, race, etc.), we'd come to an understanding and hug and then eat together. It wasn't easy and sometimes I almost gave up, but my relationship with him is something that I will treasure forever. He is almost 70 years old and he has the youngest spirit of anyone I've ever met.
Papa would constantly beg me, "when you go back to America, please don't tell your parents how bad it is here!" and I'd reassure him that I wouldn't... every family fights, right? He knows that. This idea that "chez les blancs" (where the white people are) is so much better than there is something instilled in a lot of Togolese. Just explaining that America is way diverse is something that a lot of people couldn't grasp... that and that America and Europe isn't the same place. "'Rich people problems' aren't fun", I'd explain to him. "The smiles I see here in Kpategan [my village] are more genuine than any smile I've ever seen on an American face", I'd reiterate. He'd smile, hesitantly. It was such a double-edged sword because it's supposedly so much better in America, but then some of my habits just weren't acceptable. A woman who doesn't cook? Hell no, Maury! An unmarried woman without children? Yeah, in America people are getting married later and later... some of these things were just better left alone.
Alone. I miss having a lot of time alone. I thought about things I never had the time to think about before. I had feelings that I never experienced before. I lived alone in my own small house. Most people are surprised by this; they thought I was living with a group of other volunteers. No. I was the only (and the first!) volunteer to be placed in my village and the closest American was over an hour ride away. But I was never truly alone; at any moment of any day, I could take a three minute walk to my best friend's house to laugh, cry, cook, eat, or just sit there.
There's no smooth way for me to conclude this, so I'll paraphrase a story from Dick Day, the Peace Corps regional director of Africa:
You [the Peace Corps Volunteer] are the letter "A". You're living in Togo. You adapt to the culture and the life, but you were raised in America. You're American. No matter how hard you try or what you do, you'll never be able to be a "B".
Togolese people are the letter "B". You are an "A" living amongst all "B"s.
When you go back to America, now you're a "C" because you lived amongst "B"s for so long; you're different. You are now a "C" living amongst "A"s.
Fitting in is overrated anyway, right? This goes for anyone who has had a big experience. After visiting 10+ countries, you're the letter Q with a special combination... I think there is comfort to find in the diversity. I find comfort in those who truly care to listen to my experiences even if I'm a "C" and they're not. So I'll finally shut up by saying thank you to those rare few who I've truly connected to since I've been home.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Conclusion
So I wasn’t as good at this blog thing as I thought I was going to be
but that probably has to do with the serious lack of reliable internet &
electricity…
I still am hesitant to write about my experiences because I feel like I
lack the ability to do it justice. But I’m
gonna try anyway and hopefully answer the repetitive questions you’re all
asking :)
How was Africa? Well, I was
in Togo; not the whole continent of Africa. (Togo is a small Francophone
country in West Africa between Ghana and Benin). No, I didn’t know where it was located either
before I was chosen to go there so don’t feel bad. And Togo was great. This is a very broad question that I’m not
sure how to answer. I’d prefer more
specific questions.
What’d you eat? I ate a lot of pâte which is just pure starch.
It’s made with flour and corn. I
had fufu during yam seasons (it’s
pounded yams) or sometimes it was made with manioc. The important part here is the sauce though-
my favorite was “snot sauce” (okra). Its
great mixed with other leaves such as adema (sp?), gboma or baobab. There’s also peanut sauce, tomato sauce,
etc. Those are the two main staple meals
but there’s also rice, pasta and couscous.
Did you learn cool
languages? Yes. I am surprised how much French I learned and started
to like (after over a year) and I can say key phrases in Ewe and have brief
conversations in Akposso.
I thought you were gonna stay a
third year, what happened? I got malaria twice and while my village,
friends and work were/are important to me, my health is more important. Peace Corps administration made this decision
for me and it is something that I’m still coming to terms with.
What kind of work did you
do? I literally worked with every
population possible: children, adults, elderly, men, women, differently-abled,
etc. I focused on gender equity a lot,
especially my very last project called Men as Partners. My favorite national project was the Women’s
Wellness and Empowerment Conference (WWEC) which I’ve written about a few times
before so I’ll spare you the repetition.
My favorite village project was Vacation Enterprise. I trained five counterparts and 25 students
on entrepreneurship, money management, self-confidence, etc. and gave out
microloans to the students with the best feasibility studies. These young girls literally multiplied their
profits exponentially. I’m so proud of
them. The best was Hamida who started
with 5,000 francs and sold bouillie (a
type of porridge) and made over 30,000 francs.
Was it hard? Yes.
But it was also really rewarding.
The successes were pure ecstasy but the difficult times were really
challenging.
What was hard? It was hard being the only white person
living in a small, rural, West African village.
I was seen as rich. But as a
woman I was also seen as “made to be married and have kids”. Aside from personal challenges, it was hard
to see the potential of so many women (and men) be ignored due to cultural
values. It was also challenging to
respect these cultural values sometimes because the last thing I wanted to do
was impose my western beliefs- but when a young girl is being forced into
marriage or worse, it’s hard to just sit by and not react.
Will you go back? One day. I’m collecting donations to the “Send
Jes back to Togo fund”.
What will you miss the
most? A lot of things. Specific people the most. My host dad and mom. My siblings Abla and
Eric. Hamida. My cat. My best friend Maman Akpo. Parry, the best counterpart
ever. My boss, Rose… I could go on forever.
Aside from people I will miss the pace of life. I will miss funerals! Funerals are such a big party to dance and
drink and celebrate the person’s life.
What are you doing next? I just got back from visiting six
European countries with Moe and I’m going to RELAX and reintegrate to American
culture. But let’s be honest, we all
know I can’t hold still and have to be productive so I will probably start the
job search soon. I will go anywhere as
long as the job tickles my fancy.
Suggestions?
When can we hang out? Any
time, really! Where do you want to take me to eat?
I LOVE talking about my experience and I apologize in advance for
starting too many sentences with “this one time in Togo” or “that reminds me of
Togo…” – just tell me you’re sick of it. Seriously.
I appreciate questions a lot. The more specific the better.
Also, my number is the same. Call me :) and send me your numbers so I can send you all inappropriate/obnoxious text messages because I'm overexcited that it will be FREE.
Which reminds me... This one time in Togo people say "it's free" sometimes instead of "you're welcome." For example:
(Me to boutique owner): Thank you (because I was really excited he actually had change when I paid)
(Boutique owner to me): C'est gratuit. (Except for nothing was free... I paid for all of it and didn't bargain at all)
And with that: "Etchay yooo" (The pronunciation/misspelled way to say "see ya later" in Akposso)
Also, my number is the same. Call me :) and send me your numbers so I can send you all inappropriate/obnoxious text messages because I'm overexcited that it will be FREE.
Which reminds me... This one time in Togo people say "it's free" sometimes instead of "you're welcome." For example:
(Me to boutique owner): Thank you (because I was really excited he actually had change when I paid)
(Boutique owner to me): C'est gratuit. (Except for nothing was free... I paid for all of it and didn't bargain at all)
And with that: "Etchay yooo" (The pronunciation/misspelled way to say "see ya later" in Akposso)
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Every day I'm hustlin'
- I’ve started
planning (and got $2,000 funding from USAID) for a Men As Partners training
(MAP) in September. More info when date
approaches.
- In
collaboration with Rotary club we’ve purchased over 800 school books to share
with three schools. The ceremony is on Friday.
For one of the schools, these will be the first books their students
ever get from the school.
- I’ve been
continuing learning both the Akposso and Ewe/Mina languages.
- Working &
hanging out with awesome & inspiring counterparts like Parry. I’m thinking of doing some blog updates that
are like “profiles” of some of my friends and counterparts with their
photos. On va voir… (We’ll see…)
- I’m officially
extending a third year. As soon as a
house is developed for me, I am moving to Gléi (14 kilometers away from my
current village). I will have electricity! And internet. And I will be living
the big life.
- I sprained my
ankle running in mid-May and I haven’t fully recovered :(
- Been working
on hundreds of pages of evaluations and follow-up for the 80+ Women’s Wellness
and Empowerment (WWEC). My favorite project ever. If I ever write a book in my
life, it’d be on this project. I will be
involved as the Monitoring, Evaluation & Program chair for 2013.
- Still active
member of Diversity Committee & doing sessions for staff, PCVs and soon at
the US Embassy
- 70 of my 3eme
students passed their BEPC (equivalent to 8th grade
graduation!) 21/30 girls. Which is way better than the country’s
average of like 30-40%
- Was a camp
counselor for Camp ScientiFille for girls all over the country to encourage
them to continue their studies in the sciences.
- Awarded 17 of
my trained students a total of 104,000fCFA to do commerce projects during their
vacation to be able to pay their school fees themselves. They will each be reimbursing me their small
loan as the “cotiser” (save) small amounts with me weekly.
- I went to
Ghana in late April and had malaria at the same time.
- A little more
than two months later, I got malaria again.
- I’m going to
Europe for 20 days in September and then will be in America in October (taking
home leave that Peace Corps mandates before starting third year extension)
As always, I’d
appreciate direct/specific questions so I can share information that you guys
are interested in and avoid rambling :)
Public photos of
my 2nd year in Togo: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2120025437311.2111382.1146030016&type=1&l=854ec7911b
Saturday, May 19, 2012
What I've been up to in 2012
Hi people. It’s been a while since a substantial update on my life- apologies; however, I’m sure you’re surviving just fine without them ;) [Except for maybe my mother… hi mom! Love you!]
So I guess I’ll start with the biggest news before I get into work/projects/village life… I’m staying in Togo for a third year. It was actually quite a simple decision; I’m just not done here yet, I’m not ready to leave. I have big dreams and big plans but I’ll spare you my rambling and update you on them later once they’re a reality I’ve accomplished. I will be moving to Gléi, a bigger “city” that is about 14 kilometers away from my current village. I will have electricity! I’ve also purchased unlimited internet. Life is going to be really different. Kpategan, my current village, is going to be replaced too. I’m really excited.
Life here is full of ups and downs. Extreme ups and downs. Check out this volunteer’s blog for a pretty accurate description of your average Peace Corps Volunteer: http://waidsworld.wordpress.com/2011/08/07/the-real-peace-corps/
So aside from planning for the future (some things never change- even though I have NO IDEA what I will do once I’m done in Togo… and I like it that way), what have I been up to?
In early January, I co-planned a training with Lisa, a health volunteer. She’s super creative and works in a totally different manner than me and it was awesome seeing the success we were able to pump out together. We invited 26 girls from 6 different villages to Mamakopé (Lisa’s village) to do a leadership and health training. We also invited 6 “jeune leaders” (young leaders) and 10 trainers. With our support, every session was run by a Togolese trainer along with a jeune leader. The jeune leaders we chose are past Peace Corps training participants who have excelled and proven to be awesome role models for their peers. The trainings/camps that Peace Corps does go above and beyond; but the kids are rarely given a chance to teach others what they learned… well we wanted to give that to them.
Here’s the schedule:
Le Programme de Formation sur la Santé et Leadership
| |
Vendredi
| |
6 Janvier 2012
| |
07h00 - 08h00
|
Arrival of trainers and jeune leaders
|
08h00 - 09h00
|
(07h00 - 09h00)
|
09h00 - 10h00
|
Training of trainers
|
10h00 - 11h00
|
Planning of sessions
|
11h00 - 12h00
|
(10h00 - 12h00)
|
12h00 - 13h00
|
Lunch / Rest
|
13h00 - 14h00
|
Arrival of girls
|
14h00 - 15h00
|
Welcome
|
15h00 - 16h00
|
Icebreaker
|
16h00 - 17h00
|
Bridge Model
|
17h00 - 18h00
|
Self-confidence
|
18h00 - 19h00
|
Dinner
|
19h00 - ?
|
Amusement
|
Samedi
| |
7 Janvier 2012
| |
07h00 - 08h00
|
Breakfast
|
08h00 - 08h30
|
Icebreaker
|
08h30 - 09h30
|
Gender Equality OR Influence of friends, relationships, sex and abstinence
|
09h30-10h00
|
Rest
|
10h00-11h00
|
Gender Equality OR Influence of friends, relationships, sex and abstinence
|
11h00 - 12h00
|
HIV/AIDS OR Sexual harassment
|
12h00 - 13h00
|
Lunch / Rest
|
13h00 - 13h30
|
Icebreaker
|
13h30-16h00
|
Female role model panel
|
16h00 - 17h00
|
HIV/AIDS OR Sexual harassment
|
17h00 - 18h00
|
Preparation for the talent show
|
18h00-19h00
|
Dinner
|
19h00 - ?
|
«Talent Show»
|
Dimanche
| |
8 Janvier 2012
| |
07h00 - 08h00
|
Breakfast
|
08h00 - 09h00
| |
09h00 - 10h00
|
Child-trafficking/Girls’ rights OR Income generating activities
|
10h00 - 11h30
|
Becoming a leader and creating an action plan
|
11h30 – 12h00
|
Lunch
|
12h00
|
Certificates / Départ
|
It had its challenges, especially when the car that was supposed to transport all the girls was 2 hours behind schedule for their arrival. I thought it’d be confusing to have two rotation groups at all times, but it worked out nicely and the overlap/liaison of the sessions between trainers went smoothly. Lisa and I were beyond impressed. The trainers even sang in harmony during the talent show, while girls chose to dance and sing… one even recited a poem. I read the first poem I ever wrote in French, titled “La Valeur” and Lisa played her banjo.
In March, I attended the 3 Women’s Wellness and Empowerment Conferences (WWEC). It’s so hard to put down in words what this conference means to me and to the women of Togo. I hesitate to even write about it because it’s so special to me and I know I can’t properly convey it via this blog. In Kara (the first conference), my best friend from village was chosen as a formatrice (trainer) because as a 2011 participant, she put into practice what she learned last year. She does yoga every morning. She eats moringa in her meals and produces the powder. She made container gardens. She improved her relationship with her husband because she found her voice. Watching her in Kara brought tears to my eyes. She danced. She laughed. The other women looked up to her as a role model. She led yoga every morning and her name became “Professeur Yoga”. At night, in her room with the other participant from last year, they laughed until midnight… dancing, acting out skits, etc. I have never seen her smile so much. In village, she’s stuck cooking, doing household chores, etc. As a traditional Muslim family, she’s rarely allowed to leave her house. She is what WWEC is about for me. I can talk about the dozens of sessions we did from yoga to nutritional meals to animal husbandry to managing stress, but I just come back to how proud I am of her.
Continuing with her (Maman Akpo), we celebrated Mothers’ Day together. (It’s not celebrated in Togo) Basically, I gave her 5 little Lipton juice packet things and she made me a meal because I hadn’t eaten all day. I explained to her the idea of a “sleepover” that American girls (and boys) have for birthday parties or whatever… the idea blew her mind. I’m determined to have a girls’ night sleepover with her and her friend who shared that room with her in Kara, Madame Anonene.
At the second WWEC conference on the night of the dance party, we had a “beauty night”. It took the women a minute to realize that yes; these American ladies are going to pamper us. Once they realized it was for real, they got so into it. Facials, manicures… even full on feet-scrubbing pedicures from 2 courageous volunteers. These women have tough, huge, dirty feet that go into the fields everyday… all I could personally say was “du courage”.
At the third WWEC conference, I had three women from my village in attendance so it was extra special. We also nominated the woman who cleans our transit house, Felicity. During the session I presented on self-confidence, she talked about divorcing her husband. WOW. This was the first session and she opened up right away. Divorce here is not common and not talked about. I knew right away that they were going to blow my expectations out of the water. Just like the second conference, we got to talking about orgasms and the benefit of sex for women- also something seriously taboo to talk about in Togo. I could go on and on about WWEC and probably will when you ask me about Togo (beware) so I’ll stop here.
What else? So the formation that I did in Mamakopé… I had 3 girls go as participants and 2 as jeune leaders. One of the participants was a really young girl in the class of 6eme (~6th grade). She’s really tiny and one of the youngest kids in school but she participates all the time and generally impresses me- so I asked the principal if I can choose her… and I let him choose the other 2 spots. Well, this girl is so appreciative that she started bringing me bouillie (it’s like oatmeal). One night she brought me some while I was washing off and she left me 100 francs, telling my host sister “tell her I couldn’t find any bread to go with it”. She wanted me to have bread with it so she gave me her own money… It’s nice to know you’re appreciated, that’s all.
So I’m currently in Atakpamé working on preparing my training of trainers for my Vacation Enterprise (VE) project. I have 5 trainers (2 teachers, the principal, a friend who I have worked with a lot and the PTA president). It’s the same thing I did last year- choose girls and teach them money management skills before giving them a small loan to do a small enterprise during summer vacation in order to pay their school fees.
I’m also working on data to send to some Chicago/Indiana Rotary Clubs who have generously decided to purchase school books for my middle school and two other schools I collaborate with.
I’m super pumped for this year’s VE so I’m gonna share an article that one of last year’s girls wrote about her bouillie enterprise. (Bouillie sells for 25 francs a bowl) Practice your French or wait for the translation afterwards….
Je veux parler de l’entreprise des vacances
De toutes les vacances que je passe dans ma vie scolaire, les vacances 2011 restent pour moi un souvenir. Pourquoi? Notre sœur, notre volontaire du Corps de la Paix, joyeusement appelée Da Yawa Aboèno, en plus de beaucoup de choses qu’elle nous fait, elle nous a aussi créé une rubrique « Entreprise pendant la vacance ». Et j’ai eu la chance d’en bénéficier. Nous sommes trois filles. Elle nous a remis, sous forme de prêt, une somme de 5000F chacune. Pour ma part, j’ai choisi vendre la bouillie de maïs chaque matin avant d’accompagner mes parents au champ. Cela a été une réussite totale pour moi. En l’espace d’un mois et demi (Août en Septembre) j’ai réalisé une vente de 20300F.
A la rentrée, j’ai remboursé les 5000F à Da Yawa et mon bénéfice qui dépasse le capital (5000F) est de 15300F. J’ai doublement réussi. Avant de commencer la vente, notre bienveillante volontaire nous a formées sur la gestion d’une petite entreprise comme celle-là et la formation m’a aidée et je vais l’utiliser toujours dans ma vie. En plus j’ai gagné de l’argent pour préparer facilement la rentrée scolaire qui constituait un problème pour me pauvres parentes et moi-même.
Cette année encore, elle a promis continuer cette noble œuvre. A mes camarades qui auront la chance de rentrer dans cette entreprise, je leur demande de saisir à deux mains cette initiative. Qui peut penser qu’avec 5000F je peux gagner 15.300F? C’est une réalité si l’on applique bien la formation reçue. Cette entreprise met à l’aise les élèves filles qui sont entourées de beaucoup de problèmes : harcèlement sexuel, grossesses non désirées, prostitution et même VIH/SIDA, etc…
Je remercie le Corps de la Paix et surtout ma chère Da Yawa Aboèno Jessica.
I suppose you want a translation?
I want to talk about vacation enterprise
Of all the school vacations I’ve had in my life, 2011 was a something to remember (a souvenir) for me. Why? Our sister, our Peace Corps Volunteer, joyously called Da Yawa Aboèno, plus a lot of other things she’s done for us, she also created a program “Enterprise during the vacation”. And I had the change to profit. We are 3 girls. She gave us a type of loan, a sum of 5000 francs each. For my part, I chose to sell corn bouillie every morning before accompanying my parents to the field. [this means she got up at like 4 or 5am to work BEFORE work] This was a total success for me. In the space of one and a half months (August and September) I made 20,300 francs.
At the beginning of the school year, I reimbursed Da Yawa her 5000 francs loan and my profit is 15,300 francs. I doubly succeeded. Before beginning my enterprise, our benevolent volunteer taught us how to manage a small enterprise and this helped me and I will always use it in my life. Plus, I made money to easily prepare me for the next school year which is usually a problem for my poor parents and myself.
DON’T YOU LOVE HER? She’s great. She’s my allstar. I brag about her all the time. She did Camp UNITE 2010, Camp ScientiFille 2011, was a jeune leader at the Mamakopé camp, attended Take our ScientiFille to Work in Atakpamé, is a Pathways scholar, etc. Not to mention, she’s an orphan. She lives with her uncle (which is who she refers to as “mes parents”) in a tiny tiny village outside of my village.
Alright… I’m done rambling. I’d love it if you guys asked questions… this blog is for you and I’d like to write about what you’re interested in/what you want to know.
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